Diary of a Newbie - Entry 2

Making a life change is really hard.

This is the story of someone looking to start getting healthier and live longer. “Frank” is a pseudonym, and he doesn’t like the internet, or writing, or even talking about himself, but this is his story, through his eyes.

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What in the world was I thinking?

I got the diet book I ordered, in the mail. There are some shirtless muscley dudes on the front. And a chick in a bikini–you know, the same cover as every diet book. She’s holding an apple.

I hate apples.

Men don’t go on diets. My mom goes on diets.

I don’t even know how I’d keep a salad fresh at work. I guess there’s a fridge out front, but I’ve never seen any of the guys use it.

I actually left the diet book in my truck, because I don’t know how to talk to my wife about it. She’ll be all for it, I know. I just don’t want her to get too excited, know what I mean? I might just chuck the book and join a gym. At least that’s easier to explain. I can say, “Yeah, I used to like the gym” to my wife instead of “I want to lose weight because all the guys you work with are young and fit.” Or even because “My arm keeps going numb when I’m stressed at work.” No way I'm having that conversation. Gym it is.

Same deal: I’m going to find the cheapest one, try it for a month, and then see if I’m using the membership. I should have done this when I worked at my last employer because I think they paid for my membership. Obviously, that didn’t work though.

What will I do when I show up? I need a program that will make me WANT to go to the gym. And I probably need some sweatpants. My wife will buy those for me. She’ll get behind this.

Last hurdle: how do I tell her that I want to do this alone because I can’t stand to be embarrassed in front of her?